Birthday Camp!

This weekend my best friend and I went to a Super Impromptu Camp and it was AWESOME!


We organized it for our birthday since her's is on February 23th and mine is on 26th. She bought a LOT of food and organized everything, I was just there. Haha. We met with our friends in the city and then we took a bus to La Calera. At first it was the hell because the place where we wanted to go was closed and "dangerous", we get sad because we thought it will suck to have it at another place, but a girl (who looked reaaally dumb) told us about an open forest near her ex-high school that was really cool and stuff, apparently. We walked a looot, we were carrying a lot of bags and random things so walking was harder and it was so faaar and uggghh.
Then we arrived and WOW, it was cooler than we expected! It was perfectly perfect, with trees, rocks, a beautiful view, a fireplace, stars, insects, without bathroom... Well, it was like a real forest so it was perfect!

We put up the tents and started the fire, everyone was having fun (we were a group of like 40 people) and everything was so nice. Then the music started and we were all enjoying it. I had brought my telescope and we tried to look at the stars but it didn't work, so I got a little sad about it. But then time passed by and a lot of things happened. Then it was 5 in the morning and we were waiting for the sunrise but...

When we woke up  by 7 a.m almost everyone was gone, so we took all of our things and say goodbye to that wonderful place (Which didn't look the same at daylight). We never expected it to be so cool, all of it was amazing.

 I had so much fun and really enjoyed the night with Nami.

 Best Birthday party ever!

Picture by VIANCH

Happiness

I'm weirdly happy today! World seems so awesome and conquerable, my hopes and energies are super up and I'm feeling greaaat. I wish I could feel like this everyday.

This happens to me very often, like at least one day of the week, but I need to feel like this more days, this feels totally awesome. I'm even listening to sad songs and nothing affects me! (Well, maybe if I start to look at pictures of him my mood will get terrible, but I won't do that). Uhhhhuhuhuhu life is greaaat, let's dance and eat and jump and song and be happy foreveeer!

 "Cause I'll give you aaaaaall of meee, and you'll give me aaaaaaall of youu" 

This song is so sad. F*uck. Well, I'm not THAT sad, Though.

Uhuhuuhuhuhhuuum, I wish everyone could feel this way at least one day of the week! Seriously, this is great. Happiness is the best thing ever, when you feel it you just don't care about the little things that makes life seem terrible everytime. When you're happy your whole universe looks brighter and funnier, the trees and clouds look more important and beautiful and the people you love become more lovely!

I propose we should make our life happy every day. Just listen to happy and energetic music, dance your favorite song or hang out with the people you love. That will make your day. Even simpler things like watching walking insects on the grass, the sky, feeling the air, walking outside on your favorite road. You can do whatever you want if it makes you happy, but do it at least one day, only one day at first! Then you will get to love it so much that you will want to do it everyday, trust me. (Just look this HILARIOUS dog, Hahahahaha)

That's all for today, Thaaaaank you for reading!

I'm not OK

I have to write about this or I'll cry in my bed.
I'm not feeling good lately. Everyday is awesome until I start thinking about it. My head starts to hurt along with my pancreas, stomach, lungs, liver, legs, EVERYTHING! Then all the memories start to fill up in my head and I get sad. At those moments I wish I could talk with him or just get to know something about him... Then the telephone rings and I wish I could listen his voice saying "Hi, I miss you. Let's talk." But that never happens. Then the day keeps going, I get busy, forget about it and everything gets awesome again.

I don't want to feel this kind of thing more! There is a mess inside me because I can't show it to anyone, I know that nobody wants to hear my feelings neither my pain... Nobody really cares about that stuff. And here is when I start to remember how much he cared. Oh, the feels. If I just could forget about it and stop feeling this shit everytime. If I just could take that memories and send them away... Then it would be like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Hahaha let's just leave it like this.

Anyway, I miss him more than any person I have ever missed. Whaat's wrong with me?! ASFAFHBZRGHZST!! I want to sleep and dream about him all day! UGH.

About the texts I wrote

Like I said, DON'T TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY. I was really frustrated and that stuff, but there are things that I didn't meant at all. Forgive my way of writing, I have to practice a lot.

So, I have only 3 posts on FC2 blog, my other texts went missing because my iPod and Cellphone had been stolen last month. Stupid thieves. Anyway, I don't remember very well what those texts were about, so let's forget about them. I will try and write something more later, sorry if someone is reading this and REALLY doesn't care about my texts, but I'm writing them for me.

That's all, Folks! Hahaha

Thanks for reading.

So baby.

I don't want to admit it, but I can be happy. I have come to be ok by myself. I will dance, laugh and be happy at all someday. I will enjoy every minute, hour and day. I won't cry alone anymore. I will just be happy, because I know I can't depend on you and no matter how much this hurts right now, it will be better someday. And then, when I see you again, I won't have this terrible feeling inside and the pain would be bearable. I can. I can live. I can live without you. So baby don't worry about me, I will be ok...

• 2014/01/11
 
• 13:13

It's raining in my heart...

You may not remember, but there was a time when you would sing to me the things that you felt right from your heart. 

Those were the times when we didn't really worried about the future, when we were just feeling and we followed what our hearts told us to do. We cared about us so much that the important things just weren't that important anymore. Those times are in my heart, and they will always be, because I will never feel that way again. You were precious to me, those notes were precious, our talks were precious, your tears, sighs, laughs, screams, all of them were precious. Those things were and will always be precious for me, because I "hated" you will all my heart. 

I wonder if I "hated" you all this time, sometimes I think I made that step long ago and I already loved you... But who knows, right know I can't describe this feeling, it's way too strong for me to tell what it is. I just feel this for you, I ___ you like no one has ever ___ed you and you are the only person that I have ___ed. I don't think you even ___ me right now, maybe you never did. 

My heart is filled with clouds and it hasn't stopped raining since you told me to stop trying. You asked for morphine at your door back then but, Where is mine now?

• 2014/01/06
 
• 23:22

Why does this happen?

So just when you start to feel good with yourself there is always someone who comes and take all of your self-esteem away. And it happens because you're weak and fragile, even if you seem like being made of steel. You just want to feel loved, you just want someone who tells you:

"I like you the way you are".

But if that person just suddenly disappears or tells you something like he doesn't care anymore, all of that love and care that you received isn't worth it anymore, because it meant nothing, it just doesn't mean anything now. You feel alone, your soul hurts, your brain feels pain and nobody really gets you, "What's happening with me?", you think, but there is not answer. "Nobody will care about me", "I will never be that happy again", "The world sucks", "You can become nothing, universe", and it keeps like that until you stop thinking about it and start making something new. And it will never stops if you don't distract yourself, and it will hurt like sh*t until you don't think about it enough times so you can came into a conclusion or answer to your questions. That's how it feels, f*ck that people who thinks that he's just doing good. Good my *ss. Ugh.

• 2014/01/05
 
• 14:17
  

I'm writing like an amateur

Hi, it's been a long time since the last time I posted here. In these past years my life has been really weird, with its up's and down's, tears and laughs, but it has been fun. This new year I started writing in my Fc2 blog (which is private and nobody can see it) and I'm writing like a little girl. Hahaha Because besides my english isn't THAT good and I don't know a lot vocabulary, I don't really have a topic to write about, so I just write how I'm feeling. Anyway, i'm tire of FC2 beacuse I can't find a f*king perfect code (maybe it's because I haven't search a lot), so I'm publishing the things that I wrote there today. Please don't take them seriously, I was just feeling like that. No hard feeling.

Thanks for reading!