I'm not OK

I have to write about this or I'll cry in my bed.
I'm not feeling good lately. Everyday is awesome until I start thinking about it. My head starts to hurt along with my pancreas, stomach, lungs, liver, legs, EVERYTHING! Then all the memories start to fill up in my head and I get sad. At those moments I wish I could talk with him or just get to know something about him... Then the telephone rings and I wish I could listen his voice saying "Hi, I miss you. Let's talk." But that never happens. Then the day keeps going, I get busy, forget about it and everything gets awesome again.

I don't want to feel this kind of thing more! There is a mess inside me because I can't show it to anyone, I know that nobody wants to hear my feelings neither my pain... Nobody really cares about that stuff. And here is when I start to remember how much he cared. Oh, the feels. If I just could forget about it and stop feeling this shit everytime. If I just could take that memories and send them away... Then it would be like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Hahaha let's just leave it like this.

Anyway, I miss him more than any person I have ever missed. Whaat's wrong with me?! ASFAFHBZRGHZST!! I want to sleep and dream about him all day! UGH.